Is your programming fixed or flexible?
We all have a programming, a conditioning that started before we probably could even remember. That programming stays with us and turns into patterns that show up over and over and over again.
It shows up in relationships with ourselves and others it primarily because that’s how we learned it. We learned that programming in relation to someone perhaps a parent, teacher or someone else of an authority figure. When those patterns show up our automatic programming gets activated and we begin to react to that pattern and get stuck in an automatic, recurring dialogue. The dialogue that tells us we are not worthy, not good enough, or unlovable. Perhaps a dialogue of fear of abandonment. Once you learn what the under lying dialogue is YOU can change it. Not anyone else, only you.
They, the person whose behavior triggered it may be a jerk but that’s their stuff! Don’t react. Respond to yourself.
Because the truth is we are all a set of patterns operating in the world like robots.
Once you develop the awareness and cross paths with some truth speakers (albeit sometimes harsh) the veil is lifted, you discover your blind spots, and now the work begins.
We are reacting to external validation and veering off the path vs listening to our inner validation. You are whole perfect and complete. Always were, always will be.
Don’t search for security outside. Catch yourself when you are doing that and remember that you are safe and secure. Emotionally grounded and accessible.
We often take what others say personally and then internalize it and attach our worth to it ( I know I’m guilty of that) It’s always important to remember that what everyone is responding to their own patterns, don’t take it personally.
Here’s a good mantra to keep in your back pocket: People/Jobs/Things may come and go, I will still be with me, safe, secure, and grounded.
But the realization takes work. Are you ready to move from fixed pattern to flexible? .
Make Shift Happen
This week make note of your patterns and automatic responses. The things you think are right and wrong. And try to see it from the other side. Be flexible and make shift happen.
Share you shifts in comments…
Ritu Riyat is an Silicon Valley Health Coach and Workplace Wellbeing Strategist. She writes about simple habits to support sustainable health through food, movement, and meditation. Download her free guide to a more mindful life.