It’s February, by now 80% of people who set a new years resolution, have failed. The good news is we are only in month two of 2020, there’s plenty of time to get those goals back on track.
I believe we all want to be successful at our goals, most of us set these goals on day one of the year and forget to visit them until day 356 of the year. In a perfect world resolutions are a good idea, in a practical world they simply fail.
Life is messy
Let’s face it life is messy. Perfection is an illusion, a big fat lie that we’ve been brainwashed to believed since we were too young to ever question it. Chasing the perfect X leads to frustration, disappointment, and suffering. If not perfection, then what? Growth.
In my long journey away from perfection I’ve learned to adopt the messy, which means admitting to myself and others that I’ve made a mistake or things didn’t go according to plan. Embracing this approach to life has been incredibly challenging. I’ve had days where I was paralyzed with anxiety, days where I wanted to crawl into a hole, and days where I felt deep shame and embarrassment.
Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable
So, why do it? Because, I’m still here. Those feelings were uncomfortable but they didn’t kill me. In fact, they made me stronger. In times of incredible discomfort comes incredible growth.
I’ve made it a point to put myself in a lot of uncomfortable aka “crazy”situations over the years. The photo above is from when I climbed and summited Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Although I consider myself an endurance athlete from my years of running, I had never done anything like this. I’m prone to anxiety and panic attacks, being away from sea level is a trigger … I had a choice, not do it at all or face my fear. I chose the latter. Did I have a panic attack, yes. Was I able to manage it, yes.
Growth requires taking a long honest look at the role you play in creating the life you are living. In good times, this can give you a nice ego boost and feel amazing . In tough times, this can feel painful and depressing. Either way you will grow. You will learn how you create both of those experiences, what you could do differently, and what you are most grateful for.
You are responsible for your growth
To stay true to my growth game I’ve started asking myself these 4 questions every night before I go to sleep. I limit myself to 5 minutes to do this exercise. The purpose of this is not to analyze and judge yourself but rather to let intuition guide you to the answers that will unlock hidden potential. Once the 5 minutes are complete, you can take another 5 -10 minutes to journal about these questions, again without judgement and analyzing.
4 questions you should ask yourself daily
- What went well today?
- What didn’t go so well?
- What could I have done differently ?
- What am I grateful for ? (Visualize this experience regardless of how small or large)
You can choose to incorporate these questions however you like and apply them to specific situations or broadly to your entire day. They are yours to play with.
Make it a daily ritual
My recommendation is to make these questions a part of your 30 minute nighttime ritual. Here’s what mine looks like:
- 5 minute silent sit
- 5 minute self reflection questions
- 10 minutes journaling
- 10 minutes vipassana meditation
Take time every day to reflect on how you are creating your life, before you know it you will be manifesting your deepest desires. Try out it and report back in comments.
“Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.” ~Bruce Lee
Peace & Love
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Ritu Riyat is an Silicon Valley Health Coach and Workplace Wellbeing Strategist. She writes about simple habits to support sustainable health through food, movement, and meditation. Download her free guide to a more mindful life.